Happier at Home

I randomly found this book on the shelf of my hospital library and thought I'd pick it up.

Not because I am not happy.

But because I'm always looking on ways to improve myself, and I'm curious about what makes other people happy.

I'm not perfect. Far from it. But I like to consider myself at the very least, a good, kind person. If I can learn more lessons about how to keep a happy home (that can further impact my role as a wife, sister, daughter, nurse, friend), I'm all ears.

Especially because we are hoping to expand our family in the next coming years, if I can better manage our home, if I can learn to focus on the most important things, I'll be happy.

I am so far through the first chapter and am loving the book.

The author, Gretchen Rubin, first wrote The Happiness Project. She had such a great experience with it, that she wanted to do a more personal project, and thought, why not focus on her home. Thus...Happier at Home. Her work (at home), her husband, her children, her belongings is the focus of this second book...

The first topic she discusses has to do with possessions. I found section thought-provoking.

Mainly because it's something I've always struggled with.

I've struggled with the battle between necessity or want of possessions. And what possessions really are necessary. It truly is all subjective. But if certain possessions bring you happiness, then are they not beneficial to your life? For example books. As the author describes, she could easily loan a book or download an e-copy ... but to her, she finds true join in holding a book, turning the pages, etc. I feel the same way. I'd rather spend the money to have the book, the possession, in my hands.

But I've struggled with other things...like do we NEED a television? We eventually ended up with one, but only because we got such a great deal on it ($50). And, we mainly have it for movies or my workout DVDs, as we didn't purchase a network plan.

How about clothing...?! I've never been much into fashion, but I do like quality clothing. Not only because it lasts longer, but it fits better, looks better, and I feel more comfortable and confident in it. That has to go for something. As thrifty as I am, my husband is even more thrifty when it comes to caring less about clothing. He'd be happy wearing the same clothes his parents bought him a dozen years ago in high school...clothing doesn't make him happy.

In her book, the author says this in an argument about people overvaluing possessions. "People can be important to you AND possessions can be important to you."

She proceeds to quote a passage from Mihlay Csikszentmihalyi and Eugene Rochberg-Halton's The Meaning of Things: Domestic Symbols and the Self.

"Some of our respondents were upset by our questions about special objects and told us that they were not materialists, and things mean nothing to them. It is people, not objects that count ... This rejection of the symbolic mediation of things in favor of direct human ties seemed plausible at first, util we began to notice that ... [t]hose who were most vocal about prizing friendship over material concerns seemed to be the most lonely and isolated... Those who have ties to people tend to represent them in concrete object."

Thus ... it is OKAY to enjoy and appreciate BOTH people and the relationships you have AND your possessions. More importantly, a possession is important if and only if, it had meaning to you.

And yet...one final perspective.

In The Bible, Luke 12:15 reads:

"And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

As is such in life...it's about balance. Don't allow possessions or having more or more expensive objects define who you are. Don't allow these possessions to be the sole source of your happiness. Not your home, not your car, not your clothes, not your books, not your kitchen appliances. And yet, allow those things that bring meaning to your life and truly provide you happiness to do just that...enjoy them and appreciate them.

Consider your possessions. Look around your home at objects you haven't picked up in awhile. Why do you still have them? Is it because they bring back  memories, therefore giving them meaning to you? Or are they just sitting there collecting dust. Place objects you find meaningful in more prominent areas of your home so you can enjoy them more. If you have possessions that truly just sit there, serving no purpose to you or bringing you happiness, consider de-cluttering and donating the object(s).

I'm going to take a walk around my home as I do every year and look at the things I find useful and that bring me joy or simplify my life more.

And eventually I'll tackle the 12 or so boxes I have saved at my mom's house, sitting and collecting dust. There are mostly photos in these boxes ... thus, memories. But what purpose do they serve sitting in another home, in a basement closet, unopened and not enjoyed.

More to come on this thought-provoking book.